'The Daily Show,' Colbert, and Kimmel on Trump and Hegseth addressing generals and admirals

Happy October! Spooky season! I'll go full Halloween later this month, but I'm opening October by laughing at scary reality, beginning with Hegseth Lectures "Fat Generals" and Trump Threatens War Against U.S. Cities | The Daily Show.

Ronny Chieng recaps Pete Hegseth and Donald Trump's sudden gathering of top military leaders, where the president announced his intention to use Democrat-run cities as training grounds for the National Guard, and where Secretary of War Pete Hegseth fat-shamed troops, hawked his book, and made cringey jokes.

Hegseth's comments about fat troops, admirals, and generals reminds me of what I wrote yesterday about Trump's preferences for his lawyers.

The game of musical chairs Donald "Hoover Cleveland" Trump has been playing with the lawyers in the Department of Justice reminds me of what I wrote in Noah, Meyers, Colbert, and Kimmel mock Trump's lawyers for his second impeachment trial: "Trump doesn't want to listen to his lawyers. He wants lawyers who listen to him. He should be careful what he wishes for. I think he's getting them, and they're not that good." I think he cares more that they're good looking and obedient than if they're competent. That means his lawfare is unlikely to result in convictions.

The same appears to be true about Hoover Cleveland's military leaders; he and Hegseth want them good-looking and obedient. Competence is optional.

So is diversity. Hearing Hegseth call "our diversity is our strength" and calling for the "de-woke-ification" of the military reminds me of 'The New USDOT Is Coming for Your "Woke" Projects'. If Hoover Cleveland and his appointees don't like something, it's "woke" and must be eliminated.

Stephen Colbert had more to say in Shutdown Eve | Hegseth To America’s Enemies: FAFO | Trump To Military Brass: Fight The Enemy Within.

As Republicans prepared to shut down the government, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth threw out the rule book in his speech to a gathering of America’s military leadership. At that same event, top officials also heard from President Trump in a low-energy speech where he threatened to use the Armed Forces against U.S. citizens and lamented not being able to use the “n-word.”

So is climate change. I'm disgusted, but not surprised. I wrote Trump does not recognize climate change as a national security threat eight years ago and he hasn't changed his mind. This is despite climate change being a known threat multiplier. Hegseth and Hoover Cleveland don't care. They'd rather go after major U.S. cities.

Stephen mentioned the shutdown. So did Jimmy Kimmel Live's Trump & Hegseth Lecture Generals About Being Fat and a Visit from Gov Gavin Newsom & Seth Meyers!

Stephen Colbert and Jimmy are simultaneously going to be guests on each other’s shows tonight, Guillermo makes his big entrance as a pizza chef, we are moments away from a government shutdown, all the top military leaders were pulled together for a mandatory meeting with Secretary of War Pete Hegseth, Trump showed up to lecture the generals about getting into shape, he mused about the N word, and we get a visit from California Governor Gavin Newsom (Josh Meyers) and a very special surprise appearance from Seth Meyers.

It was about time I welcomed Jimmy K back to the blog after three posts about his suspension. Also, for those of you missing Seth Meyers, he's here along with his brother. All three of my favorite late night broadcast network talk show hosts were on this episode. Solidarity!

I close with The Hottest Military In The World.

Are you willing to diet for your country?

I doubt Hoover Cleveland is.

That's a wrap for today. Stay tuned to see if I have something funny to share about the shutdown tomorrow.