Saturday, December 10, 2011

Gawker, down on pet gifts, up with drinking gifts

Gawker continues their snarky ways by suggesting gifts for dog owners to give their pets, all the while pointing out that the money could be used in better ways.
You love your dog. Far more than your emotionally distant heart could ever love a human. And why not? Your dog never did anything but express an evolutionarily advantageous convincing simulacrum of love for you. You must show your love back. You must! But what to get Nibbles and Rocky this holiday season? Only the best.
I won't bother with the dog gifts. Instead, I'll direct you all to the causes Gawker suggests your money would be better spent on.

Funding for family planning in sub-Saharan Africa
Mothers Against Drunk Driving
Doctors Without Borders
Homeless children
Red Cross disaster relief

Ironically enough, given the link to M.A.D.D. above, the next gift guide displayed a positive attitude about drinking related gifts.
You and your friends have decided to exchange gifts for the holidays. And you're stumped: It's not like you're going to get one of your boys clothing or jewelry, and it's not like any of you would suggest something on the order of a "stocking stuffer," since your girlfriend can worry about that.

You and your boys speak a common language that involves sports and drinking, or drinking and sports, or drinking while watching or talking about sports. Which means the way to go is with something that caters to what you all enjoy. So here's a short list of boozy ideas to help make it easy for you.
Those gifts are fun, but that money might still be better off being donated to M.A.D.D.

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