Lydic, Meyers, Kimmel, and Colbert take closer looks at the 'Melania' documentary and other news

I wrote, "I plan on sharing the monologues of Colbert, Meyers, Kimmel, and The Daily Show, likely Desi Lydic" today. I'm shuffling up that order, beginning with Melania's $40 Million Docu-Bribe Movie Premieres & Dems Make ICE Demands | The Daily Show.

Democrats express their outrage over the Trump administration's immigration crackdown, with Chuck Schumer calling Kristi Noem and Stephen Miller "f**king liars" and Hakeem Jeffries on accidental mute. Plus, Desi Lydic plunges into the world of Melania ahead of her documentary debut, which was produced by Jeff Bezos, directed by disgraced filmmaker Brett Ratner, and created by a crew too ashamed to have their names in the credits.

Before I discuss Melania the documentary — I can't avoid entertainment and movies during awards season — I'm sniping at the "Kristi Noem and Stephen Miller are "f**king" joke. That's a great punchline, but the rumor is that it's Noem and Corey Lewandowski having an affair, not Miller. By the way, this is the first time I've mentioned Lewandowski on this blog, despite him being Donald "Hoover Harding Cleveland" Trump's first campaign manager. He joins Paul Manafort and Brad Parscale, who I've written about here. Just for completeness, I'm also going to name check Susie Wiles and Chris LaCivita, Hoover Harding Cleveland's 2024 co-campaign managers just so everyone who has served in this capacity now appears on my blog. Wiles is the current While House Chief of Staff, so I might write about her in the future.

As for the Melania documentary itself, it's pretty transparently an attempt by Jeff Bezos and Amazon to curry favor with Hoover Harding Cleveland and a cash grab plus PR opportunity for the Trump family, as Michael Kosta and Ronny Chieng point out. Just for that, I hope it fails as PR/propaganda as well as at the box office, and earns a Razzie nomination or two next year.

The next late night talk show host I'm featuring is Seth Meyers, who opened last night's show with Melania Trump's Documentary Premieres Worldwide.

Seth addresses Melania Trump's documentary Melania opening worldwide and more in his monologue for Thursday, January 29, before taking a closer look at Trump spreading lies after Minnesota congresswoman Ilhan Omar was attacked at a town hall event.

Hoover Harding Cleveland telling self-serving lies and insane takes on the news? What a surprise — not! Time to remind my readers that the voices in his head are not reliable sources. This includes Pam Bondi deceiving herself about all "the creative and correctly spelled signs" being a sign of outside influence. No, she's just dealing with a well-educated population in Minnesota, along with Democrats writing better than Republicans.

Speaking of Hoover Harding Cleveland lying, the preview image for Jimmy Kimmel's monologue, Trump Celebrates Melania’s Movie Premiere, Has New BFF Nicki Minaj & Government Shutdown Looms, reads "Lies, Camera, Action!"

We are once again staring at another government shutdown, Trump has a new celebrity friend in Nicki Minaj, she is now in possession of a Trump Gold Card which she claims she got for free, Trump had another cabinet meeting today where he ranted about windmills and extolled the virtues of coal, Trump’s FBI has been raiding the elections office in Fulton County, Georgia as part of an investigation into “voter fraud” in the 2020 election, Tulsi Gabbard showed up to watch which isn’t suspicious at all, Border Czar Tom Homan is in Minneapolis doing his best to right the ship, a smattering of Republicans have stepped forward to criticize the damaged brains behind this operation, tonight was the much hyped premiere of Melania’s documentary, she has been doing rounds of press to promote it, and we ask folks passing by a movie theater what they think of it even though they haven’t seen it yet.

Jimmy K is right; gold card visas are actually issued by the government, not Hoover Harding Cleveland himself. The man has the worst case of "L'État, c'est moi" I've ever seen. As far as he's concerned, he is the country! At least when he says "boom," he doesn't sound like Crazy Frog.

In addition to blogging about the First Lady for the first time in a while, I'm mentioning Tulsi Gabbard for the first time in months. Despite what Jimmy K said, she does have some domestic jurisdiction, overseeing the FBI Intelligence Branch (IB), Coast Guard Intelligence, Office of National Security Intelligence (Part of the Drug Enforcement Agency), and the Offices of Intelligence and Analysis for both the Department of Homeland Security and Department of the Treasury. Those authorities make her presence even more ominous.

As for the men and women on the street interviews about Melania the documentary, those were hiliarious, even though a lot of them were reading cue cards instead of giving candid reactions.

Last but not least, I'm sharing Colbert's monologue, Springsteen's Scathing Protest | Italy: No ICE | Trump Threatens MAGA Donors | Skipping "Melania".

The Boss dropped a fiery anti-ICE protest song, the people of Milan don't want Trump's DHS thugs to provide security at the Winter Olympics, the president's latest MAGA fundraising email is bizarrely threatening, and no one wants to see the First Lady's movie.

It's hard to protest Amazon by buying stuff on Amazon. Sigh.

Finally, I wrote that I would let the music speak for itself in Bruce Springsteen, Billy Bragg, and the Marsh Family sing about Minneapolis, Minnesota. Just the same, I'm glad Stephen commented for me. I'm also glad The Boss followed up with Bruce Springsteen - Streets Of Minneapolis (Official Lyric Video).

Directed by Thom Zimny
Edited by Thom Zimny and Samuel Shapiro
Production Footage: Pam Springsteen and Thom Zimny

That's a wrap for today. I'm returning to awards show coverage tomorrow, because the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror Films released the Saturn Awards nominations. Stay tuned.