Saturday, February 13, 2016

Jim Gilmore gone after losing to Vermin Supreme


What do all of the people in the above photograph have in common?  All of them were in the first undercard debate and all of them have now dropped out of the contest to be the Republican nominee for President.  Carly Fiorina left this week along with Chris Christie.  Rick Santorum split last week along with Rand Paul and Mike Huckabee. George Pataki packed it in and Lindsey Graham left in December.  Bobby Jindal said good-bye in November.  The candidate most ahead of the curve was Rick Perry, who said 'Oops' in September.  The last candidate to leave was the man farthest away from the camera.  Wochit News has the story in Jim Gilmore Withdraws From Presidential Race.

Former Virginia governor Jim Gilmore on Friday suspended his presidential campaign, shrinking the Republican field to six. Gilmore barely registered in polls and received zero percent of votes in the Iowa caucuses and New Hampshire primary. Gilmore, governor from 1998 to 2002, said he will support the Republican presidential nominee. Gilmore's campaign said in a statement that "the difficulty of the debate structure combined with the national media coverage of the candidates made it impossible for him to continue his campaign for the presidency."
I was wondering when he'd quit.  Maybe it was getting fewer votes than Vermin Supreme, who got 256 votes in the Democratic Primary, good enough for fourth, while Gilmore got 131 in the Republican Primary, placing him last among active candidates and even behind Rand Paul and Rick Santorum, who had already dropped out.


Here's Vermin Supreme's platform.
1) Mandatory tooth-brushing laws ("Gingivitis has been eroding the gumline of this great nation of ours for long enough and must be stopped.");

2) Time travel research ("I'm the only candidate who is willing to fully fund time travel, go back in time and kill baby Hitler with my bare hands before he's even born.");

3) Zombie preparedness ("I am the only candidate who has a plan to protect America from the imminent zombie invasion and I will be harnessing the awesome power of zombies to create electric energy utilizing the latest in giant hamster wheel technology."); and

4. Free ponies for all Americans ("A federal pony identification system and you must have your pony with you at all times.").
Yeah, if I lost to this guy, I'd be embarrassed enough to quit the race, too.

Speaking of zombie preparedness, "The Walking Dead" returns tomorrow.  Zombies on Valentines Day!

3 comments:

  1. I forgot to toast Gilmore on the way out. Here's the recipe for his drink from Drinks for Republican candidates: Graham, Pataki, and Gilmore.

    As for Jim Gilmore, I'm not going to bother with any original suggestions. Instead, I'm going to be a good environmentalist and recycle the Virgina drink for Jim Webb, as Gilmore used to be Governor of Virginia, the Virginia Slammer from BarMeister.

    1 shot(s) Jack Daniel's Whiskey
    1 shot(s) Southern Comfort
    1 shot(s) Amaretto
    1 shot(s) Triple Sec
    4 dash(es) Grenadine
    2 shot(s) Orange Juice

    MIX ALL IN TALL GLASS ADD ICE CUBES. YOU CAN ADD MORE OR LESS OF GRANADEN AND O.J. TO TASTE. IS A SWEET PUNCH TYPE DRINK


    Now on to tonight's debate!

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  2. Vermin sounds all right to me. If Bernie loses out to Hillary, I'll write him in.

    What a platform!

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    Replies
    1. As long as you live in a safely Blue or safely Red state, go right ahead. Have some fun with your vote. On the other hand, if you live in a swing state, I would suggest you reconsider. Your vote might actually be worth something!

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