Monday, February 22, 2016

Please clap for Jeb Bush as he leaves the island

I wrote that I had a good-bye to Jeb Bush post coming in the footnote to Drink to 'Deadpool's second week on top of the box office.  I could make zombie campaign jokes, but I'm just not feeling it today.  Instead, I'm feeling sorry for the guy. Without any further ado, here's his concession/suspension speech from CSPAN: Jeb Bush Suspends Campaign - FULL SPEECH.

Former Governor Jeb Bush (R-FL) suspend his presidential campaign the night of the South Carolina Republican primary.

Included in his remarks: "I'm proud of the campaign that we've run to unify our county and to advocate conservative solutions that would give more Americans the opportunity to rise up and reach their God-given potential. But, the people of Iowa and New Hampshire and South Carolina have spoken and I really respect their decision. So tonight I am suspending my campaign."
I found it quite appropriate that Jeb made a reality TV reference--"my competitors that are remaining on the island"--considering that he lost to a former reality TV star.  I have a clip from Vox about that, but I'll save it for another entry; today is Jeb's day.

The only thing that surprised me about Jeb's announcement was the timing.  I made my bets in the candidate deadpool in the conclusion to Kasich stumps in Michigan.
Would such a performance make him drop out?  Probably not.  Losing Ohio would.  That happens on March 15th, the same day as the Florida primary.  That's when I expect Kasich to exit the contest and perhaps the weaker of Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio.  I expect to be writing another farewell post or two that week.
Good thing I didn't wager any money; I'd have lost it.

Follow over the jump for analyses of Jeb's failed candidacy.

CNN asks and answers its own question in Jeb Bush suspends campaign: What went wrong?

CNN's David Chalian and Dana Bash talk about why Jeb Bush couldn't connect with voters despite getting his brother's help in South Carolina.
No rematch of Bush vs. Clinton, even if they are different members of the families than last time, so we don't have to suffer from dynastic politics on the Republican side any more this year.  That's a small favor that the voters have given themselves.

My favorite data-driven journalism sites also have postmortems.  FiveThirtyEight reads the handwriting on the wall in Jeb Bush’s Path To Defeat Began A Year Ago.
The Jeb Bush campaign for president is over. After a disappointing finish in South Carolina on Saturday, he suspended his campaign shortly before 9 p.m., before it was even clear whether he would place fourth or fifth. The news of his exit didn’t come as a surprise given his poor showings in the first three contests this primary season, but if you had told most analysts a year ago how the Bush campaign would go, they would have been shocked. So just what the heck happened?
Their answers include:
  • "The party didn’t decide on Bush"--instead, it finally decided on Rubio, but that's a topic for another entry.
  • "Kasich did it better"--I'm sitting on polling showing that Kasich is beating Bush in Michigan, even before the New Hampshire primary.
  • "Voters wanted something fresh"--at least on the Republican side
  • "Trump"
  • "Voters just weren’t that into Bush"

Vox has a lot on that last point in The 17 saddest moments of Jeb Bush’s very sad campaign.
Jeb Bush launched his presidential campaign's exploratory committee on December 16, 2014, the presumptive Republican nominee. He ended his campaign on February 20, 2016, a broken man.

Bush's campaign (and the pro-Jeb super PAC Right to Rise) spent over $100 million on his campaign. He won no states. And for the last several months, he's been in the news mostly for all the wrong reasons: desperate donors, misspent money, jokes-that-aren't-really jokes. He's been a loser for almost as long as he was a presumptive winner.

The slow, torturous twilight of Jeb's campaign offers a couple of lessons. For one thing, it throws the political skills of his brother George W. Bush into sharp relief: W. might have gotten flak for being "dumb," but seeing what happens to someone with all the same advantages makes it clear how much of W.'s success was his own. For another thing, it's a reminder that (for all the problems associated with money in politics) it's extremely hard to buy a presidential campaign.

But if Jeb's campaign was born with a silver spoon in its mouth, it ended screaming in its high chair with strained peaches all over the floor. Yes, Jeb was bullied relentlessly by Donald Trump. But the consistent ineptitude of Jeb's own allies, and his own dogged, hopeful, pathetic awkwardness, were truly what did him in in his campaign. When he finally, mercifully dropped out Saturday night, you could almost hear the collective sigh: Poor Jeb.
Poor Jeb, indeed.  Drink twice for him.
Florida Recount from Barmeister.
50 ml     Gin
50 ml     White Rum
50 ml     Whisky
100 ml     Vodka
1 splash(es)     Coca Cola
5 handful(s)     Ice

Add spirits and ice to blender and blend. Continue adding ice until the substance becomes a (very) thick slush. Add to glass and top off with coke. If the slush has the right consistency, the coke should rest on top for a couple of seconds. Drink with straw. If it doesn't work try again....that is what they did in Florida 2000....
If that's not enough, Drinksmixer has a Hanging Chad recipe.
2 oz amaretto almond liqueur
2 oz raspberry schnapps
4 oz cranberry juice

Mix ingredients over ice and enjoy.


  1. I will shed no tears for Jeb. I think I've said a few things on my blog about how I despised him as Florida's governor and as a human being. I may add a few more things, but not tonight.
    I am upset I am not able to use more Zombie Jeb jokes.
    Watching The X-Files now. Let's see some damn 'Shipping this episode...

    1. I was wondering when you'd show up to comment on this entry. I was thinking of leaving a link to it on your blog, as it was so much your topic.

      No, I'm not feeling *that* sorry for him, and I wish I had posted some zombie Jeb jokes, too. Instead, I'll have to start posting some Marco Roboto cartoons.

      As for the X-Files, they hinted at the results of the canon ship--their baby--and then left the audience with a cliffhanger. Now there has to be another season!

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Nope, one entry with this spam is enough. Deleted.