Saturday, October 10, 2015

Drinks for the Democratic debates: Joe Biden

I promised my readers recipes for Joe Biden-themed drinks twice, teasing them first at the end of Hillary Clinton's entry and again after Bernie Sanders'.  Even though Biden's not a declared candidate (yet),* Paul W.'s Democratic Debate Drinking Game for October 2015 Even Though The Election Is Still 2016 And All: The All's Fair In Love And Gwar Version has rules for him, so I'm including him for completeness.

Like Clinton, Sanders, Trump, and Santorum, Biden has a drink named after him, the Biden Beer Bomb.
.5 bottle of Sam Adams Cherry Wheat Beer (or beer of your choice. Wheat beer or hefeweizen works best)
1.5 oz. Woodford Reserve Bourbon
.5 oz. Cherry Brandy
.5 oz. simple syrup

Need a frozen beer mug or beer glass, then place bourbon, cherry brandy, and simple syrup in a Boston shaker with ice, and shake until cold. Pour mixture into the bottom of an ice-cold mug, then add beer.
As if that's not enough, there is a Vice President cocktail.
1 1/2     oz     Cuban rum, Havana Club AƱejo Especial
1     oz     Mandarin orange liqueur, Mandarine Napoleon
1/2     oz     Campari
Stir, strain, up.
The irony of these drinks is that Biden doesn't consume alcohol.  Instead, he prefers a cranberry mocktail like this Virgin Cosmopolitan.

    4 Parts Cranberry Juice
    1 Part Lime Juice
    1 Part Orange Juice
    1 Part Simple Syrup
    2 Dashes Orange Bitters
    1 Twist Orange

How to mix

Fill a shaker with ice cubes. Add all ingredients. Shake and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with orange.
In any event, if Biden enters the Democratic primary contest, both my readers and Paul W.'s will be prepared.

Follow over the jump for the rules and the footnote.

First, the rules, which already assume a drink.
  • If Biden strolls on-stage in Ray-Ban sunglasses and a Stratocaster slung under one arm, take a shot of whiskey from that stash you rescued from CBGB, rock and roll and motherf-cking A.
  • If Biden gets to the podium and goes "This is a big f-cking deal," take two shots of whiskey.
  • Whenever Biden gives an answer that shows he can be a genuine alternative to poor Hillary, take a shot of bourbon.
  • If Biden commits a gaffe that still endears him to the Democratic voting base, take two shots of bourbon.
This is why Paul outsources the drinks to me; I can find the appropriate ones.

Finally, the footnote.

*Biden is running out of time to run if he wants to get on all states' ballots.  According to Ballotpedia, the first filing deadline for Democrats is November 9th (the first for Republicans already passed, as South Carolina required candidates to file by September 30th; all 15 candidates still in the running did).  After that, the deadlines come up pretty quickly.  Texas, a major state, requires candidates to file the next day, November 10th.  After that, it's Louisiana on November 20th.  New Hampshire may have the first primary, but it's fourth in line for filing dates on November 27th.  If Biden doesn't make that date, he's not running so the final November deadline of the 30th for Illinois will be irrelevant.

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