'Trump' brags about his cognitive abilities as 'SNL' returns after winning 2 Emmy Awards

I told my readers to "Stay tuned for highlights of Saturday Night Live's first show of the new year, when I plan on covering its Emmy Awards as well as the one Emmy won by A Black Lady Sketch Show." Without any further ado, I present Trump Courthouse Cold Open.

Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) speaks to the media after appearing in court for his E. Jean Carroll defamation trial.

I was wondering when I'd encounter someone else calling Ambassador Haley "Darling Nikki." It took SNL's writers to do it; the real Trump would rather call her "Birdbrain" — coming from him, that's rich, although projection is the Right's favorite defense mechanism and Trump projects, so it should be expected — or Nimrada, a mangling of her real first name, Nimarata, which doubles as an allusion to Nimrod and a xenophobic/racist dog whistle, one of which we'll see and hear during Weekend Update. Speaking of insulting nicknames, Ron DeStupid for Ron DeSantis works for me, but again that was SNL's writers, not Trump. He needs better writers, not that he would follow their lead or even understand what he's reading until after he hears himself say it.

Trump's cognitive issues were among the subjects of Weekend Update: Trump Sports Mysterious Hand Rash, CNN Cancels Republican Debate.

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like Trump eyeing Rep. Elise Stefanik as his running mate for the 2024 presidential election.

The likely rematch between Biden and Trump reminds me of what I first wrote last February.

A fellow guest at a party I attended in the summer of 2016 asked me how we got TFG and Hillary Clinton as nominees. I told him that the parties got the nominees they deserved. The Republicans got TFG because the party was too weak and the Democrats got Hillary Clinton because the party was too strong. He laughed ruefully and asked if the American people deserved the nominees. I told him that was another matter entirely.

I elaborated on that last month, writing "That's still true and is why we're almost certainly going to get a rematch between TFG and Joe Biden next year" — now this year.

Speaking of strong parties, I'm recycling what I included in Colbert, Meyers, and Kimmel return from the Emmys to take closer looks at the Iowa Caucus about Elise Stefanik calling for everyone else but Trump to drop out and endorse the former President. I saw that and reacted on Twitter/X.

1. She's continuing her audition to be TFG's VP.
2. Pelosi wished for a strong Republican Party. This is what it looks like. She should be careful what she wishes for.
3. https://t.co/wDAB2W3m0e https://t.co/GkjUGDo7lQ

— Crazy Eddie's Motie News (@pinkusensei) January 17, 2024

The video description mentioned Stefanik, but I didn't recall hearing her mentioned (did you?) so I'm making up for the apparent omission.

Follow over the jump for the rest of Weekend Update, an ad parody, and SNL's and A Black Lady Sketch Show's Emmy Awards.

'SNL' tries to turn a week of unfunny news into comedy and gets saved by Adam Driver and Olivia Rodrigo

I posted SNL's 'Weekend Update' recaps the news from the first full week of December 2022 because I wanted to save the Christmas content for later. I plan to do that for last night's show, too, especially since there will be one more episode this year, which should feature even more skits about the holiday. I'm looking forward to that because I found last night's treatment of last week's news disappointing, beginning with College Presidents Cold Open - SNL.

College presidents (Ego Nwodim, Chloe Fineman, Heidi Gardner) answer questions from members of congress (Chloe Troast, Bowen Yang, Molly Kearney, Michael Longfellow) about antisemitism on their campuses.

While I watched that, I thought "I moved my celebration of Nobel Prize Day up a day to make way for this?" While the performers did the best with the material they had, I found the source material itself dismaying and the satire of it just not all that funny. The Ivy League presidents did their institutions in particular and elite universities in general no favors, which I found distressing as an academic, and played right into the hands of the Republicans on the committee, who I think are more interested in using this issue as a cudgel to beat on higher education and progressive college students than protecting Jewish students on campus. I agree with the latter cause, but with friends like these, it hardly needs enemies. At least Chloe Troast succeeded in portraying the ridiculousness and opportunism of Elise Stefanik, who made the most of the moment while living down to my nickname for her.

Weekend Update revisited the fallout from this hearing in Hunter Biden’s Federal Indictment, UPenn President Resigns.

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week’s biggest news, like New York Mayor Eric Adams’ 28% approval rating.

As Michael Che remarked, "It's going to be one of these kind of nights, huh?" Yeah, it was, which didn't stop me from embedding Weekend Update: Alaska Airlines Buys Hawaiian Airlines, Calendar of Conservative Women.

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week’s biggest news, like a woman getting sentenced to work in a fast-food restaurant.

"Fast food, where your job is other people's jail" — technically, she's being sentenced to community service, not jail, but as someone who worked at Jack-in-the-Box and Wendy's in the late 1970s and early 1980s, I think it's an appropriate sentence. She should see what it's like from the other side of the counter!

The items about Sylvester Stallone visiting Philadelphia to celebrate "Rocky Day" and Nick Cannon spending $200,000 a year to take his dozen children to Disneyland qualify this entry as the Sunday entertainment feature, but follow over the jump for clips that better support my designating this post for that position.

Meyers and Kimmel take closer looks at Sidney Powell pleading guilty and Jim Jordan's 'Groundhog Day' of losing votes

I told my readers "Stay tuned" at the end of Rite Aid declares bankruptcy, a tale of the Retail Apocalypse and opioid crisis because "I plan on returning to Jim Jordan running for Speaker, which is turning into another Groundhog Day." I'm still doing that, but another story has bumped it down to second place. Watch Seth Meyers explain in Sidney Powell Flips on Trump, Pleads Guilty and Cooperates with Prosecutors: A Closer Look.

Seth takes a closer look at Trump's former election lawyer Sidney Powell pleading guilty to election interference while Jim Jordan still lacks the votes to become House speaker.

LOL, the Kraken kracked under pressure. This reminds me of what I wrote about Powell in Trump's lawyers face sanctions in Michigan over conduct during election lawsuits.

Powell shows that Trump's delusion is not just dangerous but contagious and when its believers said the suits were "releasing the Kraken," they were really releasing the Krak(pot)en(ing). I liked the Kraken better in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies.

Just as a reminder, Federal judge in Michigan sanctioned Powell and other Trump lawyers for abusing the legal process to undermine democracy.

This is exactly the outcome I was hoping for and that I thought the Kraken-shot lawyers deserved. May the ruling for sanctions deter other lawyers from doing what Sidney Powell, Lin Wood, and others did in this case. It also satisfied the sentiment I repeated in Seth Meyers updates late-night talk show hosts on the 2020 election and its aftermath for Throwback Thursday on April Fools Day.

As I have written repeatedly about the criminal prosecutions of public officials for their roles in the Flint Water Crisis, "The wheels of justice are grinding slowly in this case, but I expect they will indeed grind exceedingly fine." May they also grind exceedingly fine for Trump and his seditious supporters, if not as slowly.

I think the sanctions and referrals for discipline look like being ground exceedingly fine, don't you?

Two years later, Powell's guilty plea shows that the wheels of justice continue to grind slowly, but they are indeed grinding exceedingly fine, pun intended.

Jimmy Kimmel reversed the order of stories in his monologue from last night, Chaos in Congress, Trump Lawyer Pleads Guilty in Election Fraud Case & Romney/Cruz Unity Ticket?

The fire department stopped by after the show to respond to smoke pouring out of our edit bays, Congress has now gone 16 days without a Speaker, Jim Jordan still claims to be in it after losing twice, Republicans are infighting, Fox News is trying to bully the holdouts into voting for Jim Jordan, Mitt Romney talks about trying to form a unity ticket with Ted Cruz in 2016 in his new book, Donald Trump’s former lawyer Sidney Powell pled guilty to six charges in Georgia, Joe Biden’s campaign now has more followers on Truth Social than the Trump campaign, we check in with the “Bachelor in Paradise” contestant who is the new face of American constipation Sam Jeffries, and This Week in Unnecessary Censorship.

On the one hand, "'Coach Gym' Jordan as Speaker...[a]s I've written before, things can always get worse." On the other, it looks like that won't happen. Jordan keeps losing votes, both the ballots and the number of Republicans voting for him. Instead, as I predicted in Closer looks at Steve Scalise running for Speaker and George Santos indicted again from Colbert, Meyers, and Kimmel, "If I were betting, I'd put my money on Hakeem Jeffries to have the most votes on the first ballot, although he's not going to be Speaker - this time." That's happened twice already.

So who would I pick next? Well, I already have a label for Elise Stefanik, so I'm prepared for her as I was for Kevin "Pickled Tongue" McCarthy to become Speaker. It would make it easier for me. Also, it's not an entirely original idea. Just as this situation began to unfold, Pablo Manríquez of The New Republic asked Could We Really Be Headed Toward—Gulp—Speaker Stefanik? Earlier this week, Chris Churchill wondered in The Albany Times-Union Elise Stefanik, a candidate of compromise in House mess? Neither of them think this is actually a good idea, but Stefanik makes a certain amount of sense. She's a policy moderate who supports Trump, she's already in leadership, and her main competition after Jordan, who she nominated for Speaker, while mentioning his wrestling past, is Majority Whip Tom Emmer. He's not an effective whip and is so bland I've never heard of him before. That might make him an acceptable compromise candidate to Republicans after they give up on Jordan, but I'm not sure the House GOP is ready for compromise. Besides, I think he would make for boring blogging. Stefanik would be more interesting. Too bad she doesn't appear interested in being Speaker. Here's to hoping appearances are deceiving.

I close with a song dedicated to Powell, The Kraken.


Enough crime and politics. Stay tuned for Sweetest Day.

Trump found liable for sexual abuse and defamation and Santos reported criminally charged

Stephanie Ruhle hosted a panel about yesterday's legal news on MSNBC in Breaking down Trump sexual abuse verdict, George Santos federal charges.

The jury in E. Jean Carroll’s civil suit against the former president rejected the rape allegation. Meanwhile, Republican Congressman George Santos has reportedly been charged with federal offenses. Tim O’Brien, Cynthia Alksne and Charles Coleman break down the day’s legal bombshells.

Allow me this rant about the Republicans as "the party of law and order" — that's branding for being the party of using the law to maintain the social order. If the law doesn't maintain the social order, the party's not for it. It's right up there with "pro-life" for anti-abortion, "fiscal responsibility" for not spending money and people and causes the party disapproves of, regardless of whether it makes economic sense, and "pro-family" for discriminating against people who don't fit in the Twentieth Century nuclear family — all branding for gaining power to enforce the social order. Don't believe those slogans as anything else. Once that's clear, all the lawlessness by GOP members and politicians makes perfect sense.

PBS NewsHour went into more detail about yesterday's verdict in Breaking down the verdict as jury finds Trump liable for sexual assault and defamation, where it was the top story as well.

A New York jury found former President Trump liable for sexually abusing columnist E. Jean Carroll in the mid-90s and later defaming her. The nine jurors deliberated for a few hours before delivering their verdict and awarding Carroll $5 million. Trump called the verdict "a disgrace" and his lawyers said they will appeal. Amna Nawaz discussed the case with Andrea Bernstein and Laura Beth Nielsen.

Vox didn't list this case among The Trump investigations you should actually care about, but those were about criminal cases, this is a civil suit, but it turned out to be the first decided against Donald Trump since that video. It won't send him to jail — not that I think that will happen; as I wrote when TFG was indicted, "I expect he'll be sentenced to house arrest in Trump Tower with the Secret Service as his guards, at least for this set of crimes. He might get a more severe punishment if he's indicted and convicted for crimes in Georgia and Washington, D.C." — but it's a finding that he engaged in criminal behavior, even if he's not convicted of criminal charges. The judgment will hang over the rest of his re-election campaign. Too bad the lawlessness of the GOP primary voters is likely to allow him to be re-nominated.

On the other hand, George Santos is facing criminal charges, as MSNBC reported George Santos criminally charged by DOJ, calls for McCarthy to remove him from Congress on All In with Chris Hayes last night.

Congressman Dan Goldman (D-NY): “For George Santos to have a vote that counts as much as my vote is a travesty and I think that hopefully the Speaker will come around and recognize that that’s the right thing to do.”

Goldman's right. Kevin "Pickled Tongue" McCarthy and Elise Stefanik aren't going to ask for Santos to resign. They care about his vote more than the dignity and integrity of the House of Representatives. We're stuck with Santos until he either loses re-election or resigns upon conviction (this includes a plea deal, which wouldn't surprise me in the least). Sigh.

It's unfortunate that the writers strike has canceled the late-night talk shows. The jokes about these two stories would have been priceless.

FiveThirtyEight and Sabato's Crystal Ball examine Congressional redistricting in New York State

I haven't written about redistricting since Brenda Lawrence announces retirement from Congress and Rashida Tlaib announces run for her new district, the latest in Congressional musical chairs from Michigan, which itself was the first I'd used the label since 2020. It's time to revisit the subject beginning with FiveThirtyEight's video New York’s Gerrymander Might Change Which Party Picks Up Seats In The Midterms.

Senior elections analyst Nathaniel Rakich breaks down how New York state was able to pass its Democratically gerrymandered congressional map and what it could mean for the 2022 midterm race.

Larry Sabato's Crystal Ball at the University of Virginia Center for Politics had its own analysis as part of Democrats’ Position Improves in Redistricting Tally by Kyle Kondik and J. Miles Coleman.

Democrats enacted an aggressive gerrymander of their own in New York, which we will analyze in some depth below.
...
Though New York had a newly-formed independent commission to oversee the line drawing this cycle, the legislature retained the power to draw the lines itself. As expected, Democratic legislators ended up doing just that, and Gov. Kathy Hochul (D-NY) made good on her earlier suggestion that she’d use the redistricting process to boost her party’s prospects.

Hochul’s approach is a departure from that of her predecessor, former Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo. A decade ago, he seemed intent on taking the high road, and publicly decried gerrymandering — Republicans also still controlled the state Senate back then, meaning that neither side could dominate the process. As a result, New York ended up going with a court-drawn map for the decade. But this round, New York supplanted Illinois as the largest state where Democrats had a free hand in drawing a map, although some Republicans may complain that California’s independent commission made consistently pro-Democratic choices.

While New York lost a district — had it counted just 89 more residents in the last census, it would have retained all its seats — Democrats seem likely to come out ahead. If the Democratic plan pans out as intended, the number of Republicans in the New York delegation will shrink from 8 of 27 to 4 of 26.

Hearing Andrew Rakich and reading Kondik and Coleman makes me glad that Michigan's independent redistricting commission was able to agree on its maps for the state's legislative and Congressional districts. At least that part of the reform has worked so far, but I'm not celebrating until the maps survive all the court challenges they face.

Also, it shows how important the U.S. Census is. Just 89 more New Yorkers to retain a Congressional seat? Yikes!

Follow over the jump for more from Sabato's Crystal Ball along with my commentary.

Elise Stefanik replaces Liz Cheney as House Republican Conference Chair

I told my readers "I'll keep following the story to see who replaces Cheney. I think it will likely be Elise Stefanik, but stay tuned to find out" at the end of House Republicans vote to remove Liz Cheney as conference chair. Sure enough, that happened. CBS News reported House GOP votes Representative Elise Stefanik into leadership.

House Republicans elected Representative Elise Stefanik of New York as the party's new conference chair Friday. The decision came after Representative Liz Cheney of Wyoming was ousted from the position earlier this week. CBSN Washington reporter Caitlin Huey-Burns joined CBSN to discuss what the move means for the GOP.

I'm going to be a good environmentalist by recycling my remarks about the significance of this swap from Colbert and Meyers take closer looks at replacing Liz Cheney and Arizona audit.

That Elise Stefanik has become the leading candidate to replace Cheney strikes me as ironic if one considers this intra-party conflict is over conservatism. Voteview rates Stefanik's ideological score at 0.229, more liberal than 98% of House Republicans in the 117th Congress, while Cheney's ideological score is 0.515, exactly in the middle of the current House Republican Caucus. Replacing a mainstream conservative Republican with an ideological moderate shows this fight is not over conventional ideas of left and right. Instead, it is about loyalty to Trump, which is odd considering that major American political parties generally move away from losing presidential candidates. Not now — the GOP is sticking closer to Trump than ever.

Shifting gears from serious to silly, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah discussed the irony of replacing a conservative who no longer supports Trump with a moderate who now does in GOP Ousts Liz Cheney and Promotes Elise Stefanik.

Rep. Liz Cheney gets voted out as the House Republican Conference chair. Here’s how her replacement, Rep. Elise Stefanik, got to where she is.

Stefanik strikes me as an opportunist who felt the wind shifting and turned like a weather vane. On the one hand, she's being responsive to her constituents, which is generally a good thing in a legislator. On the other, she shows that she's following instead of leading by telling them when they're wrong. Still, it's working for her so far. Let's see how long that lasts.

Colbert and Meyers take closer looks at replacing Liz Cheney and Arizona audit

Last night, two of my favorite late night talk show hosts looked at the ongoing fallout from the Big Lie that the 2020 election was stolen. I begin with Stephen Colbert's monologue, The GOP's Purity Test: Loyalty To The Former President, Or Else.

Republican polling shows the former president with high unfavorable ratings, yet the party's leaders remain keen to punish anyone who breaks with No. 45, prompting Stephen to ask: has there ever been anyone in government as weak as Kevin McCarthy?

Bamboo in the ballot paper? That prompted me to leave the following comment to Meanwhile in Arizona… at Mock, Paper, Scissors.

It looks like the GQP has decided to celebrate Asian-American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month with stupid Sinophobia, fear and hatred of China and the Chinese. Dudes, you're doing it wrong! Anyone want to bet that these fools are circulating memes that invoke Fu Manchu (and not just Nicholas Cage playing him for laughs in "Werewolf Women of the SS")? I don't want to search; it's bad enough that I know Corona-chan is a thing.

When I repeat "everything is connected to everything else" from Commoner's Laws, I didn't think I would find a connection among anti-Asian racism, elections, the pandemic, and conspiracy theory, but leave it to Trump and his followers in the Republican Party to create one. Consider this a down payment on examining anti-Asian racism that I promised in yesterday's NASA and '60 Minutes' explore the contributions of Asian-Americans to the Mars mission of Perseverance and Ingenuity.

As for his question about Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy being weak, I remember then-Speaker John Boehner having trouble keeping the Tea Party caucus in line. This was a few months after Rachel Maddow said "I think John Boehner is bad at his job." He eventually retired, leading to Paul Ryan taking over the speakership. I have a higher opinion of both of them than McCarthy, whose district I lived in 39 years ago. Boehner may be pickled — whenever I hear him making fun of Ted Cruz, I think "in vino veritas" — but my nickname for McCarthy is Pickled Tongue after a menu item at the leading Basque restaurant in his home town, a place I know, having lived there, too.

Seth Meyers chimed in with Republicans Are Purging Anyone Who Won't Embrace Trump's Election Lies: A Closer Look.

Seth takes a closer look at the Republican Party’s fealty to Donald Trump and purge of anyone who refuses to repeat his lies.

While Meyers examined the search for bamboo in ballot paper in even more detail than Colbert, he also expressed the same sentiment that I feel; I never thought I would be on the same side of an issue as Liz Cheney it makes me a bit uncomfortable. Chalk that up to a stuck clock being right twice a day.

That Elise Stefanik has become the leading candidate to replace Cheney strikes me as ironic if one considers this intra-party conflict is over conservatism. Voteview rates Stefanik's ideological score at 0.229, more liberal than 98% of House Republicans in the 117th Congress, while Cheney's ideological score is 0.515, exactly in the middle of the current House Republican Caucus. Replacing a mainstream conservative Republican with an ideological moderate shows this fight is not over conventional ideas of left and right. Instead, it is about loyalty to Trump, which is odd considering that major American political parties generally move away from losing presidential candidates. Not now — the GOP is sticking closer to Trump than ever.